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About Me Member Antagonist Sweet Deal21/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 5 Years
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Newest

On Ambivalence.

Mon Aug 10, 2009, 5:23 PM
  • Mood: Lonely
  • Listening to: Marcy Playground - I Must Have Been Dreaming
  • Reading: Coin Locker Babies
  • Watching: Dilbert
  • Playing: Rhythm Heaven
  • Drinking: Cranberry-Raspberry Juice
I like that you are you and I am I, and that I never have to worry about being you.

Because I love you but I'm not sure that I like you. I sometimes wonder if that's what ambivalence is: Loving someone but not liking him.

Other times I wonder what the difference between like and love is, anyway. I guess a lot of people would tell me that love is a very strong like for someone. But I wonder if anyone would tell me that like is just a very weak love for someone?

And then I wonder some more, because that's what I'm good at, you know?--wondering. I wonder if like and love are really all that comparable at all. I wonder if you can love someone without liking him; if you can like someone without loving him?

I think that you can, because I think that I do. And feelings can't be wrong, right? If you're feeling something, then it must be real, mustn't it?

If you were in a coma, I'd read to you every day. I'd hold your hand as I watched fluids drip, drip, drip from a bag, through a tube, and into your veins. I'd cry a lot because hospitals are scary, but I'd still read to you and hold your hand.

When you finally awoke, I'd be gone. Maybe someone would tell you I had been there, and what I had done. Maybe they wouldn't, but that wouldn't matter.

I think that that's what ambivalence is: Loving someone enough to look after him when he's dead to the world, but not liking him enough to be there when he finally comes to.

"I like things that I like, but I love everything. There's more choice in 'like,' because even the worst things have things to love in them." -Cassie, Skins

deviantID

When I die, the epitaph on my tombstone will be something very profound, quoted and attributed to the person who originally said it. That in turn will all be quoted and attributed to me.

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Pennsylvania.
  • Interests: Games, cartoons, comics, cards, art, books, writing.
  • Favourite movie: Videodrome, Crash, Harvey, Strange Circus, Oldboy
  • Favourite band or musician: Queen, The Mountain Goats, Marcy Playground, Carpark North, Owl City, Eyeshine, Vampire Weekend.
  • Favourite artist: Drew Tucker, Junji Ito.
  • Favourite poet or writer: Haruki Murakami, Junji Ito.
  • Favourite style of art: Literature.
  • Operating System: Windows Vista.
  • MP3 player of choice: DS
  • Shell of choice: "Turtle shells on my fingers!" - Smips
  • Wallpaper of choice: Daisy Owl.
  • Favourite game: Bionic Commando, Contact, Trauma Center, Final Fantasy VIII, Sweet Home, Persona 2, NiGHTS.
  • Favourite gaming platform: PS2, DS, SNES.
  • Favourite cartoon character: L, Near, Mello, Samejima Mamimi, Hideaki Asaba, Aya Sawada, Jane Lane.
  • Personal Quote: "Everything seems legitimate as hell if you just put some quotation marks around it."
  • Tools of the Trade: Writables, mostly.

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Comments


:iconhotcandydeath:
Hello, thanks for visiting my page! :heart:

--
I'm a starving artist who needs her recognition.
Take a look through my gallery.
:gallery:
[link]
^Click the Link^

Taking Commissions, Read Journal!
:iconforeverstained:
You've got some really great stuff here =) Kudos!

--
Vanwa mí náro...
:iconpanzyo:
Well thank you very much.

--
"You're a gentleman and a scholar, kid."
:iconmode-de-vie:
Congratulations on your daily deviation. I've placed a link to it in the sidebar of my journal page. :)

--
Founder of =Inked-Page | Staff for *100ThemesChallenge, *ProsePlease | Lit Critic at *devCRIT
:iconpanzyo:
Cool. Thank you.

--
"You're a gentleman and a scholar, kid."
:iconlidil:
loved your piano hat story. it made me cry towards the end. weird? :)
:iconshikkyakuha:
wow, I love your Piano hat story! I was kind of just skimming through DA and I saw it and read it. You're amazing!

My brother plays piano (why do you care...anyway) and i thought that your story was great.

anyway...hello and good-bye, i love your art. And thank god. A person over the age of eight who likes pokemon.

--
Go change the batteries in your halos.
:iconsalirastrife:
Whoa you're alive :P

--
"Lights go out, but beauty is the priceless gift. Footprints in the sands of time, but anger is an endless war."
:iconzerodomon:
Thanks for watching me <3

--
I am a B-O-Y <3
:icondarcknyt:
Thank you for stopping by my page; I hope you found something you liked. :)

--
JDT :batman:
My Blog

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. -Heb. 11:1

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